“All fine architectural values are human values, else not valuable.”
Frank Lloyd Wright
The Relationship Artist understands that difficult choices are informed by values. We choose one course of behavior over another because, ultimately, we consider it more valuable. If we make choices that discount, or de-value the “humans” in the relationship, we create cascades of negative effects that permeate our relationship. If we put our perceived individual needs above the needs of our partner, or our partnership, the relationship will suffer, not always greatly, but these betrayals of the shared venture are cumulative. Resentments and alienation grow incrementally. This is not to say that our individual wants and needs are not important. They are. However, the Relationship Artist is committed to the idea that expressions of personal values and personal decisions, must be made within the context of the relationship. This presupposes a value of respect and and an understanding that both partners count all the time. Without convergence on their core values partners are destined to experience high levels of fundamental incompatibility and relationship tension. Conversely, with congruent core values rooted in respect, partners can go about the business of working out their differences, of which there will be many, without fear of losing the things that they hold most dear.